Inability to Appreciate : Another Human Criticism

         We are all evildoer and none of us is flawless or blameless but it is definitely acceptable in the society. We humans commit faux pas, in cold blood or not, it was still an error and nothing can justify that.

           As we look around in this world where perfection is seldom or not even seen, we see the tangibility that there are so many issues left undone, untouched and most often unwanted. Yet, if we take a closer look then we'll realize that behind those infinity of imperfections, there are thousands of things to be thankful for, millions of things to live for, and billion of things to appreciate.

          We might get wind of those people saying they relish all the blessings that the Absolute Being has lavish upon them, but there is such thing often brushed off and that's those pretty little efforts that people around us is exerting. Those simple greetings, those simple messages, those simple understanding and those simple things given to make someone smile, these are the things often left thankless and often left taken for granted. Sometimes, even when a person is doing something good, certain others still look after their errors and failures from the past.

        People always castigate, masses always look after the fluffs of man leading to emotional downfall, individuals often fail to remember that we'll never be perfect and that we're all qualified to be mocked.

         And why do people persist to do such things? No wonder, it's because we find it hard to appreciate. We find it hard looking on things with closed eyes and open hearts.

         Today, and actually yesterday is the perfect time to look around, to search and to finally appreciate.

         Appreciating things may lead to human satisfaction and this is a huge factor in reaching the greatly desired, prayed and searched - supreme happiness.

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Class Requirement

I am asked by my professor to write something about myself. Not a biography, just something maybe to introduce myself to him. Since my professor is a former Ambassador, and since he is teaching us a major subject, I should do this in a formal way. But the way I see him, and by the way he talk to us, he seems to be very understanding. Like if ever I decide to do this not in the “formal way”, he’ll sure understand.

My full name is Desiree Afan, but my friends call me “Desh”. I am seventeen years old and I live in ----- City. My father is a ----- for almost twenty years. He always travel, but never signed a contract longer than eight months. Maybe because, he makes sure that we are still guided the right way. My mom is a full time housewife. She even prevent herself from the “outside world” and prefer to stay home everyday with us. I have an older sister who is a graduate of --- and a younger brother, still on highschool. I can say that I have such a happy and peaceful family.

I love reading books, especially legal thriller and crime novel. But I am also interested in teenage stories and other people’s blogs. I also love cooking and watching films. I don’t have any sport to play. And I honestly can’t dance and can’t sing. I am a frustrated writer. I really love writing blogs and poems about anything under the sun.

I studied in a public school when I was in elementary, and transferred to a private one in high school. I I feel sure of the truth that I grew more, in all aspects during my four years of high school. It was in Saint ------ ------- still not too far from our house. There I encounter variety of personalities of teachers and of course of my fellow students. These four years of my life thought me many important lessons not just in academics but also in real life that will serve as my underlying basis, principle and strength as I face a bigger world.

After high school graduation, I remained uncertain of what course to take. Well, I really aspire to be a professional cook, a chef de cuisine, but at some aspects, I realized it wasn’t good enough. Having my sister who had taken a course related to it, it made me want to study something different. I spent time searching, asking and thinking what study to take until I saw BS International Relations course on the net under the website of LPU Manila. I have no idea what is it. I just know that it is related to Foreign Service which my father has been bragging about for a time. Right then, from being undecided, I was convinced to take the course. Now, I am a third year student, gladly part of the Dean’s List and fortunate to be a resident scholar.

After I graduate in college, I want to be employed in the Department of Foreign Affairs. I believe that it’s the best place to practice and utilize all the things I will learn. If I would be staying there for long, I still don’t know.

My life I can say is a semi-colorful, almost blissful, and pretty well fine. At the age of seventeen, I’ve done, tried and learned many things. As for me, life is too short to be good all the time. It’s too short, we must be ready to sin a little, and be ready to face the consequences. Life is something we own but we don’t have full control with.

I must know life isn’t easy and I don’t know what my future will be, but I am determined to make it the way I dreamed and planned it to be.

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A challenge was offered.

First week of class is over. We finally met all the professors we would be easily or hardly be dealing with. (  I guess it's more on the latter) Haha.

I don't know what the exact word to use to describe how i feel for them and for the subjects they have to teach. Honestly, when i first saw the list of it, i got excited. One factor maybe is because finally i now have what they call "major subjects". Another reason is that i always wanted to deal with this fields, not because i am excellently good with it but sadly because i have a very little knowledge of it. But i wonder, is that really sad? I mean, that's why we're going to school right? To know what we do not know.

Here's the list of my subjects this sem :)

1. History of Political Thought
2. Philippine Political Condition
3. Introduction to International Relations
4. Introduction to International Trade
5. Political Economic Geography
6. Perspective on Civilization II
7. Conversational French (Level 3)
8. Sociology/Anthropology

My very reason of blogging today is to brag how lucky or unlucky we were to have the professors we just had. I honestly can't weigh those to words lucky and unlucky. I don't know right now, but i'm sure i will, eventually. Now why? 

As i said, i find my subjects hard, burdensome and very demanding. Since first year, we were told by our Dean to read the newspapers everyday. Everyday, no fail. But i did. I honestly hadn't done it in a straight week. Now that, i find sad. I should have listen and obey. And i wish it's not too late, for now, we are strictly required to do such. Read. Read. Read. As one of my professors told, there is no such thing as over-reading. But reading the newspaper is just one, there's still projects, documentaries, analyzations, reaction papers, reporting, debates, essay-writing (both in-class and take-home), book reviews and of course, mind-nagging long quizzes and exams. Difficult as it is, but what do you think is the big help for this kind of situation? I THINK, WHAT WE NEED IS an intelligent, experienced and kind professors. 

I am sure, we have those two first traits, they are undeniably intelligent and experienced professors. But that third adjective i stated, i am still not sure. For what they have showed us today, i unwillingly think they're not. Not that they're bad as hell of course, but not that "kind"every student is expecting. They're strict. Really. Very. Absolutely. And so, they are scary. 

Sorry to say, but most of us, if not all, were grade conscious. We are the pilot section. Many of us are resident scholars and Dean's lister, and so, many of us are worrying on how we are going to survive this five-month journey. 

Are we lucky? Or are we not? I actually think, that the only reason we are thinking we are unlucky is that because they are not "kind". Just that. But as i think of it deeply, i realize that this factor could help us be more responsible. They will help us be obedient enough to do what we are asked to do. And even if the only reason of us, following them is because we are scared, i think it's okay. For in the course of time, we will surely be benefited. 

I always have a choice, either to drop some of the subjects or accept the challenge they seem to offer. And i am choosing the right thing of course. I am whole-heartedly accepting their challenge. 

I.

IR Student.

Facing what is really to be faced.

Hoping to succeed in the right way.

Help me God.

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First Day Story

Today is the first day of class.
And students are excited and amassed.
Here we go again, everything will end a blast.

Some known faces, some not.
With uniform differences you cannot spot.
Scattered papers, and balloons not a lot.

Games were conducted, kind of Amazing Race.
Running and finding like they're lost in a maze.
Voila, it's a very successful first phase.

Now, you can feel the humidity of air.
Same air, hundreds of people share.
Right here, second floor, IR square.

Former busy people, now almost half-asleep.
Sitting and feeling tired and weak.
I am one of them and now i'm ending this so quick.


:))) I wrote this yesterday. Out of boredom actually. :)))
 It's also my way of telling what happened on my first day.

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June 06, 2011

      Today i attended an org meeting - which i am an officer of (Foreign Service Club). First official meeting, i can say. For the record, this is my first time to be appointed for a position in a certain organization (as i attended college). I got the "Deputy Dean of the Diplomatic Corps" title. Oh well, a so-long and so-good to hear position i don't very much understand, if you know what i mean :)

      I am happy. Really. Even i don't have a close friend or a classmate with me on the said meeting. Its nice  knowing new people. Its nice doing new things :) Honestly, there is a minute or two that i felt i was out-of-place, that i am alone. But i can't blame anyone for that. That's me keeping myself speechless, commentless  and even emotionless. Sadly, that's really me. I don't have the power to socialize. I totally suck with it. And i hate it. (You know, being an International Relations student who can't socialize with new people - its DUH.) Sense of humor - i don't know if i have it. No, i guess i have it, but it runs away from me in the times i need it the most. (Kuha mo? Haha). Anyway, back to my first sentence on this paragraph, I am happy. I totally am, for some reasons listed below.

• New friends.
• Opportunity to practice social skills.
• Exposure to people. (What the?! Haha.)
• I'll get busy.
• I finally engaged myself to non-academic works.
• This is what i want :))

      For the past two years of my college life, i was able to prove that i can perform well in academics. And now, maybe it's time to prove that it doesn't end there, that i can do something aside from that.

That's all for now :)

I am desh.

"Deputy Dean of the Diplomatic Corps"

Finally stepping out of my comfort zone :)

PS. Sorry for posting this so late :P

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Another First.

This isn’t my first blog site tho. I had two before, one on multiply and one in here also, but both of them i don’t use now. I also got tumblr which is very much active ‘till now but not open to people i know. It’s kinda personal though most of it were reblogged fashion pictures. Too personal stuffs, i’m not ready to share to anyone i know, even with friends, even with bestfriends. Anyway, i decided to have this blog to start writing again. I won’t make this site like that of my facebook or my twitter or my tumblr in which i am just posting two to three sentences a day mostly posted for the sake of just having something to be posted, and rarely with sense. 

Now, more on myself, I am an incoming third year student of LPU (Lyceum) Manila, taking BS International Relations Major in Diplomacy. A course you might want to ask what is really about. And that, I am tired to hear and answer :)

Back in highschool, i wasn't able to bag any award, may it be academic or not. Maybe, I didn't put so much effort studying and joining clubs. Yeah, I was lazy. And that i truly regret. Whenever i think of my higschool life, i never fail to tell myself how fool i was not to focus on my academe nor on any extra curricular activities. I'm not saying i could have had the title of valedictorian (cause that's definitely for Jessica), but you know, i could have perform a little better.

But why am i saying this all of a sudden? I don't know. (Haha) Kidding.

Truth to be told. I am so lacking with credentials. And it's not definitely helping my self-esteem. It stops me from accomplishing things now in college. It is like a big barricade sprouting in my face everytime i make a determination on something. I feel so empty. Like, literally, I guess (Haha again). 

And at this time, I am trying to make changes. Changes for good. I hope.

I guess it's enough to be my introductory blog. 'Till then. :)

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